This is a post that I didn’t really want to have to write. You meet someone that you adore, things are going great and then suddenly something goes horribly wrong and you find yourself right back at the start all over again. As you probably guessed, my relationship recently came to an end with someone that I really loved.
Breaking up can be so tough – you get so used to the comfort of being in a relationship that being single can be really upsetting and terrifying. When you hear or see something that reminds you of them, you feel your stomach churn and your throat tighten because you are probably about to start crying. Along with the heartache of missing a person that you have spent a whole load of time with, it can be a tough time.
I thought I would use my experience to give anyone going through a similar thing a bit of a helping hand.
Tip 1. Cry
I have done a whole load of crying lately, so much that I’m surprised I have any tears left. I hate crying – it isn’t going to change the situation. But sometimes you just have to let your emotions out. It’s completely normal to get upset, so lately when I’ve been walking down the street with tears running down my face, or nipping to the toilet at work to have a little cry, I forgive myself. I’m upset; it will get better with time but right now it hurts and you know what? That’s okay too.
Tip 2. Delete them from your phone
This was the hardest thing for me to do. Social media and texting makes it so that most of your relationship is stored on your phone. Months worth of messages and stupid pictures that you took together all in one place. But keeping them on there can sometimes make you feel worse and bring back memories that you are trying to keep away. Delete them. This will be hard, and you won’t want to but trust me, you can do it.
Tip 3. Talk to your friends and family
After a break-up, you can feel very lonely. Most likely, the person you were in a relationship with was the person that you spoke to and saw the most so when you’re no longer a part of that you feel like you have nowhere to turn. Talk to your friends and your family – all of the lovely people in my life have been so supportive and have done everything they can to try and take my mind off things.
Tip 4. Forgive yourself
It is so very easy to overthink things once a relationship has ended: what could I have done better, what did I wrong, why did I do that? Don’t. Sometimes, everyone says something wrong or does something that they shouldn’t have done – nobody is perfect. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and that if your relationship was going to break down it would have done regardless of anything that you did or said. It isn’t your fault, it isn’t theirs – things just happen. Let it go. Forgive them and forgive yourself – move on.
I hope that this helped at least someone out there, and I think in part I wrote this for myself as well to remind me what I need to be doing when I find dealing with my relationship ending difficult. Times get tough, and it’s hard but just cry it out and remember that time is the ultimate healer. Let’s all cry together.
Love Beth x x